Beyond the Now

As I look back on my journey through challenging times, I remember how lost I felt without any roadmap or GPS to guide my way. I often describe it as feeling like a “deer in headlights.”

When my husband of many years received the unexpected and frightening diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease, I felt as though I had come upon a “No Outlet” road sign in the middle of a busy intersection. There was so much to be managed, and he had always been the one in the driver’s seat—the main financier, maintenance expert, problem solver, and travel planner in our relationship. Suddenly, everything came to a complete halt.

I felt helpless. While I had always managed my own affairs—my checking account, social plans, and personal responsibilities—the larger financial picture of our shared life had been his domain. Finances frightened me most, especially as I came to realize that, due to his unnoticed and unfortunate mental lapses over several months, things had not been handled as carefully as they once had been. And finance was the area in which I felt least confident.

The only way through that detour was to go around it. That was when I called upon a close friend who worked in finance and genuinely enjoyed it. He sat down with me, and together we reviewed our situation. Step by step, I began to understand more clearly what needed attention and how to determine the next road to take.

What I learned on that bumpy ride was this: strengths often reveal themselves only when life demands that we use them. We may not feel ready, qualified, or brave enough in the beginning. But with support, persistence, and a willingness to learn, we often discover abilities we never knew we had.

Sometimes the road we fear most becomes the very one that teaches us how strong we truly are.

— A quiet reminder from Beyond the Now

Margo Ewing Woodacre, MSW, is a writer, counselor, and former caregiver who explores life transitions, identity, and resilience. She is currently writing Crossroads: Reclaiming Identity When Life Changes Everything.